What else to say

I find myself a year later with very little having changed. I want the same things as last year's new years post. I'm stuck in the same ways I was last year. I did do some of the things I wanted, but not enough. Some things changed and then changed back. It was a weird year, and a frustrating year, and I'm still frustrated with a lot of things. Some of things might get better soon. Some of them are even up to me. So I'm still trying. I'm still here.

A sure sign of addiction

I've been watching Fringe on Netflix. I mostly blame Tamara for this, because for ages she's been talking about Other Olivia's amazing bangs, and how beautiful Peter is, whom I still refer to as Pacey. He will always be Pacey.

Yesterday I got to an episode in the other universe where all the sheep had died out, and my first thought was, "That's so sad. What do they knit with?"

Cuppa

One of the many things that stuck with me through all the incarnations of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide series is Arthur's constant search for tea. A lot of people would argue, and possibly rightly so, that it was just Douglas poking fun at a very British trait. But I think that if after traveling literally to the end of the universe and back, he still only ever found a decent cup of tea on our little blue marble, then that alone is a pretty good reason to keep us from getting destroyed. Maybe it's not just British. Maybe a good cup of tea is the one thing us humans really got right. 

I am trying to break your heart

That's the name of the flash fiction workshop I'm taking this week at the college where I work, and it's lovely.

Granted, it's also stressful trying to write a piece of prose every night knowing I will probably have to read it out loud the next day, on top of all the other madness going on there, because this week is the start of a three week long festival of workshops and events and all sorts of nonsense that we've spent months arranging, so it's only Tuesday night and I'm already a little exhausted.

But I'm playing with words again, and getting advice and critiques about those words. And that feels marvelous.

S.O.S.

Which I guess in this case stands for save our stash?

I stumbled upon a lovely new (to me) blog full of lovely knitted things, among other bits of gorgeous, and now all I want to do is knit lots of pretty cardigans.

Why does this only happen to me when it's way too hot in my apartment to knit? Months of lackluster knitting enthusiasm, and suddenly when it's 90 degrees out and my prime stitching spot is in direct sunlight, that's when I get motivated?

Brain. What are you doing?

Book madness

Book madness of the best variety.

I mentioned before that I'd arbitrarily decided to read ten books in a month. I had just finished a book that took me longer to finish than it should have, not to mention the count of books I own but haven't read yet was nearing 100. (Yes, I keep track. My Librarything is very carefully cataloged.) It's still not far off from that number, because even while reading those ten books, I still bought more. But you know.

I read ten books in a month.

I'm not talking Ulysses, here. Just some of the lighter novels hanging around, some short stories, a couple young adult novels. Even a self help book. But still. One month. Ten books. I did it.

The thing I found most interesting is that I wasn't any less busy than I'd been before. While reading, I still went to a play, and to the movies, and watched stuff on Netflix. I volunteered at the university's graduation ceremony, went camping for my birthday, rode roller coasters at Cliff's Amusement Park, and saw Mumford and Sons in Taos last week. (It was awesome, in spite of the rain and hail.)

So even though I don't plan to keep trying to finish a book every three days, I do plan to keep reading harder than I have been.

Even though the first book I plan to read now is A Storm of Swords. Once I finish Jasper Fforde's Shades of Grey. Man, that guy is verbose.

In which the blogger suffers an acute attack of the don't wannas

What do you do when you don't feel like doing anything?

Summer has finally reached Santa Fe, and the wall of windows in my living room face northwest, so from about five thirty to eight thirty I get direct sunlight right in my face. So I don't want to hang out in my living room. I used to have terrible insomnia, so I try to subscribe to that method of thinking that the bed is meant only for sleeping (and other bed-type activities, if you like), so I don't want to hang out in my bedroom. And New Mexico is already on fire, so it's smoky and gross outside.

I arbitrarily decided almost a month ago to read ten books in one month. It's going swimmingly, and I'll do a real post about it later, but I'm nearing the end and surprisingly a tiny bit burnt out on reading.

Two weeks ago I had a horrible cold and spent four straight days on my couch watching movies and junk on Netflix. So I don't feel like watching anything.

It's too hot in my apartment to knit, because the only thing I'm excited to have on the needles right now is a sweater, which is like having a wool blanket in my lap. Again, in direct sunlight.

I found a cookie recipe I seriously want to try, but surprise! Too hot to bake.

What else is left? Just drinking, right? I should just go drink a lot. Nice cold gin and tonics, all day every day until this malaise passes. Right?

I will never run out of characters to mourn

With every story I've ever encountered- whether it was a book, a movie, a TV show, anything- I've always loved character first. They have to have great characters. Without them, I might appreciate a story, and even respect it, but I will never love that story if I don't truly adore at least one of them. Even if it's one that I love to hate, or wish I didn't love.

The problem with getting into the Song of Ice and Fire books, and watching A Game of Thrones, is that I can't help but love a lot of these characters, and there are a lot of them to love. But with this story, I know it will only end in tears.

A quick update

There's rumors that the marketing department is going to move into the empty offices on my hallway at work. Just in case I lose my privacy, I've done two more cartwheels in the hall in the last couple of weeks.

One of them may or may not have been in a dress.

Adventures in brainspace

I am a person who can not and will not watch horror movies. I can't deal with the gore and with people killing each other. So I just stay away from them. Neaves has been trying to get me to watch Red Eye for years because she loves it. I will not. I've heard that American Horror Story is amazing, and part of me is curious, but the rest of me keeps saying, "Are you an idiot? It says 'horror' right there in the title. Go back to your Community and your Bob's Burgers." And I do.

There are some weird shades of grey to this, though. I'm pretty much fine with monster movies. Something about it being removed enough from reality, although there are those where I still have to look away from the screen (Shaun of the Dead, I'm looking, or rather not looking, at you).

So if you had told me even a month ago that I'd be watching a very, very real video of a chick skinning a wolf in abject fascination, I'd have been very confused. But here I am. I'll warn you now, that the video is pretty graphic. The video will warn you, too. It's sorta gross, but also sorta incredible.

The amazing and awesome Hank Green did one of his "Thoughts from places" videos a few months ago from the Philip L. Wright Zoological Museum at the U of Montana, where he met the equally amazing and awesome Emilie Graslie. Since then, she has started doing her own series of videos called The Brain Scoop. And since then, I have gotten completely excited for every video, and I don't think I've even blinked during a single one of them.

I think the reason I'm so taken by these videos (and I strongly encourage you to go back and watch more of them, too. Maybe start with the earlier ones and work up to the wolf skinning.) is that it's so unlike the sorts of things I normally see and hear about. I love my life, but it can tend to get a little self-contained. I'm not in classes anymore, so I have to really make an effort to read outside my comfort zone, which I do to varying effect. But mostly I can just read what I like. Same goes for the shows I watch, and the podcasts I listen to, and the things I do in my free time.

At least with the podcasts, I've managed to get in some more of these new perspectives. Two of my favorites are the Moth podcast and the Stuff You Should Know. I had a very similar experience with SYSK a couple of weeks ago when I was listening to "Do You Stay Conscious After Being Decapitated?" That episode came out almost two years ago, and it had just been sitting in my ipod all that time because I kept thinking I might not be able to handle the subject matter. I think the only podcast I've ever not been able to finish was their episode on cannibalism. I got about ten minutes in and decided I couldn't take any more. I barely even remember what was being said, but it was enough. But not only did I do ok with the decapitation one, but I was so fascinated that I got exuberant. I was rapid-fire IMing my friend at work because I couldn't just sit there at my desk and keep it all to myself. It was all too interesting to not get to gush to someone about it. And I love that feeling.

That feeling is why I'm willing to keep trying to watch these videos and learn about these things. Because when you're really learning something- not sitting at a tiny desk in high school memorizing things, but actually absorbing and building up your brain with new information- it's so exciting. I hope I never run out of things that give me that feeling. I hope I keep feeling that curious my whole life, even if it means taking on the things I'm not sure I can handle. It's so worth it.

Go learn things, you guys.

Better late than never, right?

I said the other day I’d lost interest in writing a new years’ resolution post while I was trying to write it, but apparently that was a lie, because I still want to write it. It’s been on my mind a lot.

I think it’s because I have real ones, I think for the first time ever. I had a big plan for 2013. The college where I work was going to add a Masters program that I was very, very interested in, and I was really excited and gearing up to dedicate basically the next two years of my life to it. However, that’s not happening. The program is not going to go (yet. They’re still hoping to get it off the ground in the near future, and if they do, I’ll probably be first in line because it will be great), so now I feel like I have this big gap to fill.

It’s made me think a lot about all those big grown-up things. What I want to be doing, how I feel about my job and where I’m going with it, how I feel about where I live and whether or not I want to stay here for at least two more years. Jesus, all this sounds so adult even as I’m writing it and it’s weird. As soon as I’m done here I’m going to go eat a bunch of sugary things and jump on my bed to try to feel like a kid again.

But suddenly I find myself making all these big plans and changes, even if they actually seem like small ones. So with that in mind: resolutions. Which actually seem to be sticking so far, amazingly enough.

First, I want to finally start sending out some writing for publication. I’m nearly five years out of college with a writing degree. I should be writing, and working towards being a writer, since that’s what I actually want to do. So it’s time to start polishing the stories I have, and keep working on writing more.

I want to use my time better. By which I basically mean less Netflix, more reading, writing, and even knitting. I waste too much time doing absolutely nothing productive, and I could get way, way better at that.

I want to finally go on a real trip this year. I have a friend that does guided hikes through the Swiss Alps, and he’s been trying to get me to go since I was still a student. And I have no big plans for this year (not anymore, anyway!), so I’m going to finally get a passport and finally go see somewhere new.

In the same vein of wasting less time and doing more, I’ve been thinking for awhile about starting a zine. I’ve been planning and messing around with ideas, and getting more and more excited about doing it. So I’m starting a zine! I even wrote some stuff for it already, and I got a name all picked out. More on that later, that’s for sure. I talked awhile ago about how I was on the lookout for a project, and I think this is my project.

Finally, I want to make my apartment look good. It’s the first apartment I’ve ever moved in without already having some idea of when I’d move out again. It’s also the first apartment where that one-year lease benchmark passed without me even thinking about whether I wanted to move somewhere else. I love my apartment. It’s nice, and old, and it suits me and it has a great kitchen, and my friends and I are finding that it’s pretty great for throwing parties. But I still have things that are in boxes, and books that don’t have shelves, and my desk is sort of a repository for all the old mail and odds and ends and junk that I hide when I throw a party. So I want to make my apartment look as great as it could be.

So that’s my plan for 2013. Growing up, basically. More on all of that later. Because like I said last time, I do plan to blog more. So you’ll get to hear about all of this stuff.

Here we go

I was gonna do a post about new year's resolutions, even though it's already a week into the year. But then I realized I haven't posted in two months (again). Maybe that should be one of my resolutions.

Quit ignoring your blog, Kat!

Either way, I'm pretty excited for this year. I feel like it's going to be a good one. More on all of that later. I swear. I think. If I don't keep forgetting to blog again.

Sorry I'm so lazy at this.

Fun fact part deux:

Every time I see a spider in my shower, which is fairly often, I immediately name it Steve. I don't remember deciding this. I just see them, and go, "Morning, Steve. Do me a favor and stay up in your corner, ok? Enjoy the steam, and try not to fall down into my shampoo or anything. Thanks, buddy."

It reminds me of in the Betsy-Tacy books, how Betsy's family always named their horses Old Mag. I think this is my justification for not stopping myself from that particular bit of innocuous insanity.

A bookish weekend

I feel like it has to be a very good sign when you walk up to the register with a book, and the guy behind the counter says, "No! I wanted to read that! Now I'll have to order it again!"

To which I replied, "Tough! I'm buying it!"

Yesterday I went up to Taos for the wool festival. I managed to restrain myself to just one skein of very pretty sock yarn. But I also bought a book at Moby Dickens, the little indie bookshop there. I've bought a book there almost every time I've gone to Taos, because I like supporting indie bookshops. Also I like new books.

This one was one of five new books I got this week. I got The Casual Vacancy and John Hodgman's boxed set (both from Amazon. I like supporting indie bookshops, but I also like free shipping, and that I can buy books and odd-sized knitting needles at the same time). And the one from Moby Dickens is called My Mother She Killed Me and my Father He Ate Me: Forty New Fairy Tales. Which I couldn't resist buying, because it's exactly the sort of things I keep writing. Plus, it includes about a dozen authors I adore.

So I look forward to hopefully reading those sometime in the near future, after I finish the big, fat book I'm already reading, and the other ones in my pile to read as well.

The pile has gotten very large lately. I'm reading just as fast as I can. With breaks for knitting and Doctor Who.

Oh, and movies. I'm going to go see The Perks of Being a Wallflower later, based on yet another book I re-read recently. It's been a good couple of weeks for books, is what I'm saying.

Fun fact:

Whenever I'm walking down a long, empty hallway, I almost always get an urge to do a cartwheel.

My office is at the end of a longish hallway, and most of the offices are empty, since a bunch of people got moved to a different building, and the rest are in meetings all the time.

I can't tell you how many days I've had to consciously suppress the urge to do a cartwheel at work.

So far I've only done it once.

Excuses and whatnot

Ok, I know once again I haven't blogged in a long time. But in my defense, I've been thinking about blogging a lot. That counts, right? Don't you all feel better knowing that?

I'm actually only partly joking. I have been thinking about it a lot, because for awhile there, I was on the hunt for a big, bloggable project I could do. I really like things like the Julie/Julia project, or any of the hundreds of similar blogs, that pick one thing they're passionate about and dive in. And lately I'm in love with The Lizzie Bennet Diaries (It's brilliant, please go watch all of it right now). I like the idea of focusing closely on one piece of literature and either analyzing or interpreting it, especially in a way that's as fun as this.

But every project I think of has either been done, or I'm not passionate enough about it to feel like I could do it justice. Also, I'm barely techno-literate, and I don't feel like learning enough about it to figure out things like photoshop and vlogging. I'm good with just babbling here.

Also, it occurs to me that all the things I truly love to do are very slow, quiet activities that would most likely be boring to either watch or read about. Knitting. Reading. Writing. These are things I do while sitting by myself, and while I'm happy to give the occasional update, there's not a ton else I want to say about them to you all. I do those mostly for me, and I'm very happy with that so far.

So I think I shall just carry on as I have been. I mean, hopefully with more actual blogging than has gone on of late, but still. I'll still keep an eye out for a project that grabs me, because I like having projects, but for now it'll just be the usual ridiculous stuff. Luckily, there's no shortage of it all. Not only that, but there are things on the horizon that feel like things will be picking up for me a bit. Most likely I'll have some slightly more exciting things to report in the next year or two (Yes, I am starting to make plans that will last a couple of years!). More on those later. So I'll be here. As always.

Back with a... something

There is a pigeon that lives on my upstairs' neighbors' deck. It mostly perches directly above the skylight above my kitchen. This pigeon seems to spend all of its waking hours either:

A- pooping directly on the skylight above my kitchen

or

B- making noises that are just quiet and rhythmic enough to sound like people having sex in another room.

Thanks, pigeon. You're the best.

(I know it's been months since I posted. I kept thinking about what I should say about this, or what kind of post I should write to get myself back into it. Then I decided I was overthinking it, so you get this instead.

Did you miss me?)

A NaNoWriMo-themed text conversation

Me: I am 1000 words short for the day, and I have lost all interest.

Tamara: I assume this is Kat... My new phone is blind to friendship.

Me: I do not know this Kat of which you speak. She sounds ravishing. Tell me more.

Tamara: Oh yes, quite ravishing. A thousand words behind her goal, though... So good with bad, you know?

Me: Touche.

Excited Kat is excited.

It's snowing, and it seems to be sticking this time. And earlier I heard "Last Christmas" on the radio for the first time.

The holiday season is definitely on the way.

It's today!

Twizzlers at my side, it begins.